Indians
have been aping the western culture for decades now, in the style of dressing,
fashion, trade and commerce, et al. Some of these are a boon actually. If you
see the multiplexes, the dependency on loans, the fancy cars, the high-rise
buildings, the fly-overs, the ring roads, the airports, the ready-made apparels,
the malls, all these are signs of progression. On the other hand, we also see a
lot of discotheques, pubs, eating out, provocative clothing, live-in
relationships, etc. While the younger generation wants to feel liberated by these
kind of things, does it really go with the culture and ethos of India? You can
say I am very conservative and old-fashioned in my thinking. But if we really
want to ape the west, what about the value systems of the west? Honesty, frankness,
respect for women, independence from the age of 15, doing your own work without
depending on domestic help, the education system – teaching the art of reading
and expression before learning the alphabet, habit of reading, commitment
towards work – Why is it that we ignore all these?
Why is
there a selective aping of the west? Why can we not imbibe the good things which
can blend in with our rich culture and leave out the rest? Why do we only
choose aspects which are convenient irrespective of the blend with Indian
culture? How many girls in college wear Indian attire these days? How many of
them wear a bindi? Once upon a time, a bindi would distinguish a Hindu from
non-Hindus. Today, even married women find it fashionable to not wear a bindi.
At a time, when the Indian diaspora try to imbibe Indian culture and values to
their children – most Indians settled abroad get their children trained in
Indian classical music or dance, visit temples regularly, meet often with
families, celebrate Indian festivals, the residents of India and running away
from these.
What
prompted me to question this today is that off late I have heard of a couple of
true incidents, where children are being forced by their parents into an
arranged marriage. The children, though not interested in an arranged marriage,
agree under pressure, and later, either after the engagement, or even after the
wedding, spurn their partner and leave them high and dry. Why can’t they stand
their ground and tell their parents that they will not be forced into marriage?
When they can ape the west in all the other aspects, why can’t they not have a
man-to-man talk with their parents and explain their position? Why can’t the
parents understand that marriage is a very sacrosanct relationship and it needs
two parties to whole-heartedly agree to enter into it? A lot of care and nurturing
goes into forging the relationship and it needs time for the bonding to
develop. Both the people need to have a positive approach. When that is
lacking, it only leads to disillusionment and worse, it leaves such a scar on
the innocent party that it will take years to overcome and regain confidence in
the institution of marriage.
